Monday, June 11, 2012

Love

I know you've been in love for two weeks, and it's truly exciting, but please stop borderline dry-humping in front of everyone. We're all very happy for you. Love is a wonderful thing, but if I wanted to see softcore porn, I could just go to google.

And you're not fooling anyone, except maybe yourself. Chances are, you are not in love. This person is almost a stranger. In fact, you should probably think about visiting a doctor and getting some tests before you continue swapping spit. Because you are not their first, nor their last. You are not special, and will be forgotten shortly, when the passion and lust fade. You are in love with being loved. You are in love with yourself. Your romantic rendezvous read like a desperate cry for help.

Collect whatever scraps of your independence and dignity that remain. Look around at all the disgusted people who are forced to watch you canoodling. Hang your head in shame.

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